Monday, May 19, 2008

Who are you bullshitting Mercy?

My response to the blog post: For Marissa and Stan.

If my suspicion is correct, Mercy is trying to insinuate that I have been putting my nose on her love life problems in that, I am meddlesome. Did I read it right?

I may have missed the memo, so please humour me.

To be brutally honest Mercy, I do not give a crap even if you're fucking these foreigners in real life, it's your life. The only reason why Stan and I are still in communication was because: 1-You, Mercy, gave my YM ID to Stan; 2-In doing so, you opened a bridge of friendship between me and your boyfriend;3-You have asked me if it's alright to borrow my faceless photos to send to Stan because he was asking yours;4-You ran off with Stan's money and told him "Fuck you!" that started all this bullshit!

To tell me not to speak to Stan, who I have become friends with, with your own knowledge and full permission, is out of your bounds because you cannot  tell me to who I should talk or not. In fact, you do not have the right to stop me from communicating with anyone. Do not go around making me look like a sleazy slut because that's your forte! I didn't need to "come in like a hero" because of your disappearance has caused Stan to sought for you and who else do you think he knows he could talk to? Get my point?!

And regarding my "personality" let me educate you a little bit.

On the viewpoint of my board mates, Mercy: You stated in your blog post that you have demonstrated respect and ethics towards Armel but evidence show otherwise and I digress. Whatever problems I may have with my board-mates Mercy is my own problem to deal, you do not have the right to expose me in a biased way for people to form negative judgments on me, and the only reason they wanted to "spit me out" was because of the added bonus of your presence. I brought you there and they didn't like my decision. Gabi na nagkakakanta ka pa at ang ingay-ingay mo at hindi nila nagugustuhan na ang tagal-tagal mo sa boarding house na parang duon ka na nakatira. On my part, dahil isa ako sa mga tenant duon, kahit magbunganga ako, wala silang paki-alam dahil ako ang nagbabayad ng renta ko, pero ikaw Mercy, hindi mo yata napansin na bisita ka sa bahay na yun at hindi mo alam kung saan mo ilulugar ang sarili mo. If you didn't notice, before you came we were all at peace and if there were disagreements, napapag-usapan namin. We were enjoying our privacy, but you on the other hand, acted like you were "part of the family" and started being familiar with the people there. At higit sa lahat, hindi ka dapat nangako ng kung anu-ano kay mommy dahil ako ang tenant hindi ikaw, bago ka pa dumating sa bahay na 'yon, may mga pagkakasunduan na kami tungkol sa pagrenta ko at labas ka sa usapang yon. Your act of "helping" only fueled the fire and my family were the ones who got burned in it.

Let me remind you again Mercy, isang buong buwan kang tumira sa amin ng mga anak ko. Ilang beses kitang pinagsasabihan na uwian mo ang mga anak mo, ipinagamit ko pa sayo ang telepono ko para lang makausap sila dahil bilang ina, naaawa ako sa kanila. Pero ang dami dami mong excuses. Dumating na sa punto na inihatid na kita sa sakayan ng bus, hoping to have a rest from your presence. Pero after some 30 minutes nagulat na lang kami ng mga anak ko at bumalik ka pa at ang sabi mo sa akin: gabi na at wala ka ng masakyan, which is not even true. Hindi ka rin siguro aware na may mga nakakarinig sa'yo, na boardmates ko. Bukod pa dyan Mercy, nakiki-kain ka rin sa padalang pera ng tatay ng mga anak ko.

About Carolina: You may be trying to insinuate that I'm the one solely at fault with my falling out with my supervisor. Guess again, nung pumasok ako sa team ni Carolina, isa ako sa naging top agents nya, at maganda ang naging standing namin for a while, considering my good performance and it was just my first time in the job and in Carolina's team. And if you're not familiar with the job market Mercy, a clash between a colleague or a superior is not a strange phenomenon because there are few factors in play: different personalities, difference in goals, and professional jealousies. Mamili ka kung anong gusto mo.

You very well know the story behind my clash with my supervisor because I share my sentiments to you, being my "friend" and all, but now you're pretending otherwise? If I'd narrow down your blog entry regarding me and Carolina, Mercy, I'd say you're a cunt for insinuating that I have a bad personality to justify your points. Edi, ikaw na ang magaling.

Ang babaw mo na, ang tanga mo pa, wala ka pang utang na loob!

Grammatical errors: Lalaine was asking me for corrections, I shared the sentence with you so you can check if it was correct or if you have other suggestions. It was a simple task na binigyan mo ng malisyosong  kahulugan. Lalaine and I have been friends for a long time before you, tapos you want to drag her into this issue na wala naman syang alam? Naiintindihan mo ba ang implikasyon ng mga bagay na pinagsasabi mo sa blog posts mo? Be responsible naman.

On Armel: If you really have any thread of respect and ethics in your skin Mercy, you wouldn't even mention her in this issue and may have used a different example. I think you really don't know the real meaning of Respect and Ethics.

Respect is having a regard to Armel's feelings if she should read her story in your blog post without her knowledge and permission, that you're using her as an example.

Mercy, Ethics is a system based on the principles of right and wrong. You should have known that it's wrong to drag yourself in my issues at the boarding house, you should have known that it is wrong to say "Fuck you!" to the person you helped and disappear, you should have known that it is wrong to promise mommy things you cannot deliver on your own (had not Stan sent you money), you should have known, Mercy, it is wrong to abuse one's hospitality and act as if you own my stuff and use my phone that was exclusively for my children's use. And lastly, you should have known that it is wrong to expose me in your blog without my permission and knowledge. I hope with my simple illustration, you learned about the meaning of ethics.

And remember blogging about Armel's email correspondence to you? Don't you find it quite familiar that you are treating me the way you treated Armel? Tapos friendship namin ni Lalaine ang iku-question mo? To you Armel
Tapos idadamay mo pa si Armel sa usapan na to, samantalang hindi naman nya alam kung ano ang totoo? Some friend with respect and ethics you are.

I think you don't know what you're talking about. You need to go back to school and learn respect and ethics and come to me again and demonstrate them in front of me.

And regarding my family: You have no right to question, mention or even drag them into this issue. You have been foul enough as it is, below the belt ka pa. On what authority are you putting my family in the limelight? Scammer ka na nga, manggagamit ka pa. You're so classy deary. Whatever issues I have with my family is my private matter, wala kang paki-alam sa kanila. You don't even know my family and my full history pero you're trying to make a point using them? How impudent! Nakakuha ka na rin lang ng P36K hindi ka pa bumili ng hiya, para naman nagkaron ka kahit na 1/4 lang. Clearly Mercy, you do not know how to value other people's privacy. Hindi ko na nga sana papatulan itong mga blog posts mo, I have kept myself mum about the issue because I was trying to give you some respect, pero dahil hindi ka mapatahimik ng kunsensya mo at guiltyng guilty ka, akala mo these blog posts will justify you? Eh ikaw nga nag i-incriminate sa sarili mo, so what the hell na gusto mong ipalabas na ang laki ng kasalanan ko sa'yo?

On the matter of swindling: I called you a swindler because that's how you exposed yourself to Me from the beginning: You get by with your life sa panloloko ng tao. Hindi mo maamin sa sarili mo na you manipulated Stan by telling him sob stories, that prompted him to send you the money and the phone. Remember Mercy, you used to work for American Chat Link and even Nelson have full knowledge of this. And we all know what American Chat Link is. At the time, you kept on telling me that Stan was trying to contact you through your mobile phone but you refused to. I would say that you have planned these all along to coerce poor Stan to help you.

In all I did to you, you never said anything to me? Of course you wouldn't have anything to say about me, sa akin ka nga nakitira, kumain at nakigamit ng mga bagay na meron kami. Binigyan pa kita ng pamasahe mo para lang makapasok sa TP pero hindi ka naman nagpakita sa trabaho. Hindi ka naman napahamak ng dahil sa amin Mercy, ikaw ang nagdala sa sarili mo sa kapahamakan at kahihiyan.

I don't personally know your husband but with all the negative things I've heard from you about Nelson, it speaks so much about your credibility. I have heard your excuses many times; your husband is not supporting you enough; he's been ignoring your pleas; you had a kidney operation and your husband didn't support you; his family doesn't respect you, in that they maltreat you too; and lastly, you've been contemplating on separating from your husband because he's been having an affair (wrath of a woman scorned?). These were your words to me!

I'm not asking you to repay me for the charity I showed you Mercy, it's the least I could do. At least you could have considered the consequences bago ka gumawa ng kalokohan sa piling pa naming mag-ina. Sa mga sinabi mo sa blog post mo, ikaw ang walang kahihiyan dahil nakikitira ka na nga lang, ang lakas pa ng loob mo na gamitin ang telepono ko na magpatawag sa kung sino-sinung lalake. You fully well know na kaya ako kumuha ng wireless phone at nagbukas ng IDD ay para matawagan ang mga anak ko ng tatay nila at matawagan nila ako in-case of emergency. Now you're twisting everything? Hindi mo nga na-consider na kahit pa binigyan kita ng permiso to use my stuff, na irespeto pa rin ang privacy naming mag-ina. Tapos ikaw ang kawawa?

Mercy, on the matter of me thinking or treating you like a slut, ikaw ang nag confess sa akin ng mga information na yan. During the time na nagkasakit ang anak mo, you confessed to me na kasama mo ang isang lalake, in his owner-type jeep. When you got home, nalaman ng family mo kaya galit ang tatay mo at mga kapatid mo sayo. Ang sabi mo pa, wala kang pera na pampagamot para sa anak mo kaya nung nakuha ko ang 2K na income tax ko dahil naawa ako sa anak mo, buo ko yon binigay sayo dahil may extra money pa ako that time, that was for your son's medication na sabi mong hindi mo mabili.

You wanted to make it look like na you've been private about your family? Nung unang salta ka pa lang sa bahay, ang ingay-ingay mo na at kung anu-ano ang pinagkukuwento mo tungkol sa buhay mo at pamilya mo. Ikaw pa ang may sabi na ang nanay mo ay maraming tauhang lalake at may club kayo at nag-aalaga kayo ng mga prostitutes. Na kesyo ang bahay ninyo dati sa Dasmarinas ay parang sugalan dahil sa nanay mo.

At least, I have my blogs to appease me in these troubled times, not to try and manipulate people.

Then you go around me again, preaching about being a Christian.

"and you forgot that I AM A CHRISTIAN same as you"

So, Mercy. When you were planning to scam your boyfriend Stan; deceived and used me in the process, was that "Christianly" operating in you?

People have different concept of god Mercy, but mine might not be operating like yours because I do not worship money. I have the authority to question your faith because of these things that you did to my family!


I will admit that for now, it will be really hard to move on from this; my children are currently suffering from the trouble she caused.


For the record Mercy, I have a very strong inclination that you stole my notebook containing my passcodes, my company ID and my nail pusher vanished when you did. Let me jog your mind a bit, you borrowed my nail stuff to clean your feet, you liked my nail pusher and asked where I bought it. I told you I got it at Landmark. After you've gone, the nail pusher was nowhere to be found. When I visited you and stayed for the night, my suspicions were proven because I found my nail pusher at your home. You didn't hear anything from me, because I could buy it anyway. As compensation, you gave your "authentic, imported" sunglass. I'm not lying Mercy, you know that I speak the truth here. But I'm not going to expect some decency in you nor honesty, I believe that's not one of your strengths.

Sensing the little importance of the nail pusher (makes me feel stupid actually), but my main point is, when Mercy left my base, I lost two things that have importance to me. The company ID is for my clearance, the notebook contained my passcodes to all my accounts and other information. I'm quite curious that you're accusing me of stealing your Transcript of Records and Diploma when you left it at home, and I even asked you for your father's address in Dasmarinas so I can send it through LBC. Your wonderful response was: I don't need it. Keep it. Was I lying in these statements Mercy?

And now you turn around and tell me:
"send me back my diploma and TOR, it's my children's future."

Why the hell would I keep it?! Unless I perform plastic surgery on myself to look like her, WHICH IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN! Heaven forbid that I look like a retarded toad squid (ew!), I wouldn't have any use for her useless document.

If she doesn't realize, I am being incriminated in the scam as her accomplice because she was staying with me at the time before she vanished with the money and phone.

Sinira mo na nga ang pananahimik naming mag-ina, sinira mo ang buhay namin sa ginawa mo, ikaw pa ang may mukha na mag-drama na akala mo ikaw ang inaapi sa usapan na to?

Thanks to my super bff for helping me word out my mind properly.

Saturday, May 17, 2008
Well what can i say about what happened few weeks ago? it depends on how you look at it and how you interpret things. But for me i saw it as alearning experience in dealing with such people. It's a test of love, friendship, and trust, and it all failed.Kept my self silent as i can so i wouldnt hurt anyone. Because i love both of you. But did obeserve everything from the very first day that stan and i havent talked. But throught the course of all exchanging emails, tex messages with you marissa and stan. I found my self lost, was not given justice and so helpless by the 2 peopl i thought, was a friend. I was stabbed front and back and i just let my self being stabbed. Trusting things will end happy in the end. But the things that i tried to avoid to happen just happened. The very beginning of Stan and mine's problem just came from a very simple thing. Stan thinks i lied to him, and tried to fool him. I didnt say anything, But waiting for him to tell me all his questions, will just let his anger to subside then we can talk and very confident that stan will will understand me, and the real situation at home.Then you marissa came like you were a hero, so concern about me.. the truth i really appreciate it at first, and trusting that you will be able to clear things out with stan, and fix things whatever it is that's coming to his mind. On your first text asking me how am i doing, i told you to give me time to condole my frieving soul, and ask you not to talk to stan so that things will not get worst. But to my surprise you were already exchanging emails, my emails my text messages, and my chatlogs. ( is it fair?) Then i was just answering throwned questions from stan from you. I started to observe at the same time try to defend my self from all the spears u keep onm throwing me. We were already exchanging text messages on that marissa. Unmaliciously telling you what i feel bout what stan told me and texting me. Never thought you will use it against me. Do you remember this text marissa?

marissa: asan ka? ( where are you?)
mercy : andito sa bahay bakit? (im here at home, why?)
marissa: tumawag ka daw stan gamit ang phone ni joseph?
(stan said,u called him using joseph's phone?)
mercy : ha? anong kinalaman ni joseph dito?
( what? what has joseph has to do with this?)
Marissa: mercy, nag text ka sakin kagabi, sabi mo pupunta ka kay joseph.
(mercy, you texted me last night, telling me that you are going t
to joseph?)
mercy : ano? at naniwala ka naman? sa tingin mo sa ganung oras ng gabi
papayagan ako sa bahay? ska dapat nga pupunta akok sosoli ko
yung pera nya at phone, pero sabi nya sa email wag na. ano ba?
( what? and you believe that? do you think people here at home
will let me go to manila at that very late time? i was supposed
to go to joseph, but stan said in his email i dont need to, so
i just stayed home.)

on this text conversation marissa, this is not a way of inquiry to a friend but confirming what stan had told you regarding joseph. it was like telling me that you dont believe what i am telling you but rather confirming what stan had told you. I didnt say anything but definitely i got hurt. This is not a way of a friend inquiring of something, but you already had a suspicion on your mind if i really did go to joseph that night.

I am not a slut marissa,i dont go out for a night of cheap sex and no one is calling me on my phone and your phone aside from stan, and you know that. I felt like you look down on me so much, and see me as a stupid lowgrade woman. who will just go for it for money. If i am should not be staying at your place marissa,you could see me staying in a nice place because i have a lot of money, and i will not cry in desperation to get my salary because i am needing it so badly, because of my problem at home. Don't you remember marissa, i was so upset when TP did not approved my maternity benefits? i was thinking of my kids and my problem at home. You saw all the emails on my cupid bay account marissa, but never entertain such, i even gave you some of the guys there who is interested in me. Because i know they are just looking for fun, and i am looking seriously. This time, i felt something is about to happen. Do you think that i will still be confident of telling you what really happened at home specially if it involves my family, if i have this feeling from you? i am afraid you will also look down on my family the same on how you look at me, and i hate that. But still i believe in the friendship that we have.

And the friendship marissa? it was never built on lies, and you know that. I tried my best to be the best friend that i can be for you. Thinking on how can i help you. Because you dont have a family to go to, no relatives, no friends, and you should be thankful for lalaine. Your boardmates, treats you like they wanted to spit you out of the boarding house. You have disputes with your supervisor, and cant stay long in the work that you have, and even have some disputes with your colleague. with people who have little understanding marissa, this is a big question about your personality. but did you hear anything from me? did i ask you what's wrong? coz i dont want to offend you. You have lots of insecurities in your life, and i am a friend tried to do my best on how can i lessen those insecurities you have.

I loved you and i loved your kids marissa like they were mine, i dont believe you dont noticed that. another instance marissa, that made me afraid of you.But believing this wont happen to us because we understand each other. Do you remember the last time that lalaine asked our help to do her assignment? you keep on copy and pasting her gramatical errors, and correct it? and i asked you what is it all about? and u said that it's a correction. for me it's not a big deal, you dont have to correct it. We all make mistakes and Unethical to correct your friend to another friend. But i should not be worried about that, coz i told my self were different.You told me all your stories, did i ask you was it all true? did i ask yoiu about your honesty? i do have questions on my mind but will never do offend you on asking you questions. Because it's your personal life. i should not be asking my friend questions like that. When you texted me again asking me why did i get you involved with me and stan's problem, i explained it to you, thought you understand it. but i was wrong, and i didnt get you involved marissa, it was stan who has different interpretation on that. You can ask him if say anything bad against you? But you? you were like interrogating me like stan is paying you to spy on me and report to stan whatever you found out against me, like i am a person who committed a crime? Playing to be stan's advocate? What did you found out marissa? Not only once did i asked you not to talk to stan, because it's not helping us, and not only once did i tell you that i will talk to you and stan once everything subside. Because we are not understanding each other anymore. I felt like everything has not gotten into place, and when you told me that in your text message that you already KNOW ME? THAT YOU MEAN WHAT YOU SAY, AND YOU SAY WHAT YOU MEAN? you play like a God, who knows everything? You didnt know how my heart bleeds that time, how my friend is saying this to me? The marissa i thought who will be with me, in this simple trial? and you keep on saying no one is totally oblivious of what is happening? i dont get what you mean marissa? cause you dont know the truth, and same with me. I am not that stupid not to know what is going on. You even texted me 'WHY DONT YOU TELL STAN YOUR TRUE INTENTION.?" I almost fainted when you told me this? i cant imagine i am talking to you? and how can i friend can exactly tell me this? Well.. i am telling you marissa the intention of me helping, loving and just being happy with what i am feeling with stan is the only thing i knew. After what i've been through with my life, after 3 years of pain, and heartaches running after my husband.

I dont know marissa what made you blind, how did you forget that i did asked your help. Because nelson left me with nothing but bruises, pain, thinking about how i can take away my kids from them, and keep them from me. what made you so blind not to know, that i needed the money for my kids tuition fee because nelson told me that he will not give me antyhing, because he wanted me to go back to our house in IMUS.during the time we were texting. What made you blind not to see that i was not even able to to go work because i dont have money, nelson left me with $75? what made you so blind not to even think the time that i have to send my son to the hospital becuase of suspected apendecitis, and because i am not capable to give him medecine maintenance because i have jsut started working again, and im still recuperating from my misscariage and excessive bleeding. I need to send them to my in-laws... and how will i get them marissa? i cant tell you everything.. because i can see that you are also having your own problem.It's too personal to discuss everything with you.How can you forget that i did asked you the favor if i can stay with you for while because i wanted to forget what happened to me, what nelson did to me and the hatred that is still inside of me? All i just wanted is to work, and live my life again.. for my kids and for my self. I did beg both of you, that i will talk and will explain to you everything once i am ready. Because at home, I am also having a fight with my Father and my brother, who made the house as a colateral to the bank, and i didnt know about it.. Do you remember marissa? i was so damn upset when they didnt approved my maternity benefits... that time, i am not yet sure if i have to tell it to you. This is a matter of family matter. i couldnt handle the pressure anymore marissa, I asked nelson's help. But you read all his tex messages to you. You wouldnt see me crying like that marissa, if i dont have a heavy burden in my heart. but i cant tell you yet.. i am not ready, it was very demeaning for me marissa asking your help, i feel humiliated asking if i can stay with you. Because for me, my pride is the only thing that is left and i cant trade that to anything else in this world. But i dont have any choice, I am being too pressured at home, I ama thinking where can we go if the bank will get our house? i will then have no choice but to go back to IMUS. So when stan offered assistance... i dont have any choice.... but to accept it. and the phone marissa? you know that it was an unmalicious conversation and our joke but you took that also against me. I was pleading both of you.. that i will talk to you pesonally once i am ready and i am very sure that you will understand, same with stan, even told you not to talk to him anymore so he wont misinterpret everything. But none of you listen..instead you were both throwing me your spears like i was a person who doesnt have a feelings. Both of you measured me as the lowest of all... But i didnt say anything.. I cant blame no one because it was my fault.

You said that stan is talking to you because stan thinks you are balance? Where is the balance marissa? did you let me speak for my self? The way you texted me it was very obvious who is your boss. Dont give me your damn reasoning that you and stan is not talking because i also noticed that after you and stan chats, stan would text me. Mean.... so mean that only people who dont have a mind cant understand. I admit marissa, i did asked you the favor to talk to stan, not expecting him to send me but really hoping he would because i needid it badly. You were not asking me that time where am i going to spend the money? But now you are telling me where did i spent the P36,000? do u really believe i am that splurge, not to know where to spend it? do i really have to discuss with you? do you really think that i just needed it for shopping? am i out of my mind? no friend would ever ask you a question like this, like you were asking your child where did he spent his money.

You know what marissa? when armel and her boyfriend Jedi was having a problem, because jedi found out that armel has a french boyfriend. due to my pic slide in friendster. Armel accused me of having an affair with jedi. i tried to explain my side, but as expected armel did not accept my explanation. Then jedi keep on calling me, texting me and sending me email asking what is the truth about armel? he said a lot of words, very mean accusing armel of cheating on him, and armel was just after his money. Maybe he feels that since i am armel's bestfriend, i know a lot of things aobut armel. On my part marissa, i could use that as a revenge for armel, i can ruin her reputation to jedi, and lose jedi's trust to armel. You know what i did? i sent jedi my first and last email, telling him that i am not in the position to speak for armel, and a i am also not in the position to speak for him to armel. what they are and what they are going through is just a part of their relationship, and whatever action armel is taking she definitely has a reason behin it, and that he should speak to armel personally to sort out things with her. I called that respect marissa,i called that friendship, i called that mature decision, educated and ethical. yes, i am armel's friend but i did not go off the limits of our friendship, because i am considering what armel would feel if she found out that me and her bf is talking behind her back. I did not ask armel questions, because what ever her reasons are, she is accountable for that. Cause i dont have any dark intention of ruining their relationship, and that can ruin armel's life. Now i am glad to hear that they are still together. Did anyone of you tried to ask me how am i feeling? after knowing you were exchanging emails, forwarding my emails, and text messages? and the incolmplete chatlogs? and why did you sent stan an incomplete chatlogs? I have the copy of the complete chatlog.

You were saying you and stan is not talking and yet you told me that, stan is requesting for the chat log? which is which marissa? I am not stupid marissa, i tried to hide my real feelings, i tired to make my self calm to the last strand of my understanding because of our friendship, i did even chose you than stan. When you told me that you washed your hands, and tell stan the truth like you are saving your self from a person who committed a crime? is that what you think of me? is that how see my whole being? I am not stupid marissa, whatever you and stan's conspiracy against me will end meaningless. your last blow of you both saying i am a painted artist, that i am full of drama? and i am using my sickness to get your mercy and attention? who is proud of it marissa? do you think i am proud of that? do you think if the company will know that i am a cancer survivor and still taking the last treatment, do you think they will accept me? As i said why dont you wish me im dead, cause i once tried to end my life.. because of all the heavy burdens in me, and taking it all ALONE. what do you know about me marissa? i havent told you yet anything about me. What i told you is just a piece of the burden you are seeing in me.I am trying to fight for my life marissa, for my kids and for my self. i am trying to live a decent life for my kids untill i will be able to get back just like you.

you have a copy of stan's last email right? like he was sending a copy to his cronie how do u feel about that? Stan saying all those words to me? are you happy?do you think i was just taking it all that easy? God... marissa.. you dont know how many nights did i cried for you and stan. How i tried to hang on to our friendship.. that i am willing to give up stan but not our friendship.. If you are in my situation marissa and chris would send you email like that? what will you feel? and you found that me and chris are exchanging emails? sometimes i was thinking what if talk to chris, and tell chris what happened, and i will tell him my reasons. Chris would definitely understandf me marissa, because i dont have any bad intentions.. it was all about suspicions of you and stan. I saw him twice online on hotmail... but never attempted to talk to him, you know why? because i dont want to invade both your privacy, and i will never do the things that you and stan did to me.

You and stan trod me like a tramp, like i was a dirty garbage. I decided not tell you anything anymore untill i die, you will never know my real reason. i will let you think the dirtiest thing against me. I dont owe you an explanation, if there is one person that i am responsible to clear things out.That is Stan.. But he already have his own judgment on me, and condemnation, conclusions.. when all i am just asking is time and privacy, time to atleast breath from my family's situation and what you and stan is throwing me. You said that stan and you have an OPEN DOOR POLICY, AND ME HIS GF BEGGING HIM TO TALK TO ME? pitty me.. i was the gf but i wasnt given the chance to speak for my self. NOT GIVEN JUSTICE TO ATLEAST EXPLAIN MY SIDE. do you know how painfull is that? were 2 people in love marissa and you dont see it, money is out of the question, IT SHOULD BE FOR STAN AND ME TO DISCUSS. not for you interoggating like stan paid you to do it? I could have died marissa... you dont know how i got hurt.. deeply durt.

I dont know what made you blind marissa, but i still wanted to leave the memories of marissa i met the first i went to TP. i made this to end up everything with you and stan. I dont know what you 2 have.. i dont want to know abou it anymore. I tried not to do this marissa, and tried everything not to talk anymore. But you hit me in my heart when you commented on my friendster. If you are happy about telling me i am a "SWINDLER" go ahead marissa, make your self happy. In everything that you did to me, i never said anything bad against you, in respect to our memories in manila. But even to that you dont know how to respect it. I hope this will end everything with us, i wanted to move on with my life, same with you and stan. It's a shame that stan is already moving on.. but we are still clashing. I wont delete my blog just because of the 2 of you. you can say whatever you want to say.. stan can give me his hardest blow. But in the end i know and i believe i will still stand, head up high.
My heart will always stay as your friend marissa, but that is the only thing that i can do atleast. I will try to forget you and the kids.. i love them.. and even if you dont tell them, they know it. i believe thier hearts are innocent it should not be planted of bad things that is happening. And i beg you not to ruin my children's future by not returning my diploma and transcript of records. i dont have any reasons not accept nelson's family's invitation. I dont like it, i dont love him anymore. But i will do this for the kids. I am just thinking that everything was just a test, and we all failed to pass the test. George is right, it's not right to hold any grudges. It wont help me as a person, and my health. dont ever think that i dont know how to appreciate marissa. I am trying to give you back my appreciation with all the help you lend me, but you thought of it as a planted one. that even added to the damage, and you forgot that I AM A CHRISTIAN same as you, and even if you are seeing me as happy go lucky teenage school girl marissa. Never did i will trade in my christianity for anythig else.. you even questioned me my faith. that is very insulting to me, i hope i am not going to read anymore comments here from you. i even suspected stan to do that.. im sorry to him, i didnt know. You are right forgive and forget.. but send me back my diploma and TOR, it's my children's future.
i am sorry if you got hurt, if stan got hurt, i was also hurt.. but it was 2 of you against me. havent you thought of that? the pain is doubled.
Posted by Karisma at 1:51 AM